1) Faith can be one of the best ways for a child to cope with your divorce. If you attend a church or a synagogue, continue to do so regularly. Encourage them to pray and meditate for spiritual comfort. Your clergy can also help mentor your children.
2) Your children may be angry, sad, and confused at various times. Understand, validate, and accept these emotions. Listen to them. Allow them to feel angry or frustrated with you and ask for their forgiveness.

3) Studies show that children who endure the separation of their parents are more likely to suffer academically. Be sure to remain in contact with your child’s teacher. Let them know what is going on so they can be sympathetic. Make sure that your child is not falling behind.

4) Spend quality time with your children! Making sure to spend quality time can be tough when you are adjusting to your new life but it’s a must. It doesn’t have to be expensive either. Take your child to the frozen yogurt shop or walk the dog together. Spending one on one time with each child will help your family stay strong.

5) Refrain from criticizing and complaining about your ex-spouse in front of your children. If you need to vent, find a private place and call a friend. Talking negatively about your ex-spouse to your children will make them feel like they have to choose between the two of you.

6) Divorce disrupts a child’s sense of routine and stability. Keeping a set routine at your house and sticking to it will help your children feel more secure. Your children should know that there will always be someone there to pick them up from school and take care of them. An organized scheduled will ease the transition into the two-household lifestyle.

7) With you and your spouse at odds against each other fighting about the division of assets and other things, it’s important that you remain a united front when it comes to disciplining your children. Children will naturally try to pit you against your spouse against one another to win more freedoms. It’s best if the major rules are the same in both households. Discuss and agree upon standards and expectations for your kids with your ex.

8) Save the haggling and arguing over the details of the divorce for the courtroom. If you need to work out arrangements with your ex-spouse, do it in private away from your children. Your children have likely heard enough arguing between the two of you before you separated- don’t make them hear anymore!

9) Assure them the divorce is not their fault and of your constant love for them. Children need to hear it even if you’ve said it before. Your constant reassurance will help them and calm their self-doubt.

10) Be sensitive when/if you decide to start dating again. After you and spouse have separated, you may eventually decide to start dating again. If you do, be sure to be discreet and sensitive to the needs of your children first. Don’t involve your new partner in your child’s life too soon! Make sure your children know that they are your first priority, not your new boyfriend or girlfriend.